Behind Closed Doors: SILENT VOICES

I HAD once sold my soul to the invisible powers of hell to shake the world of faster women by luring them to fall into deadly traps of perdition, when scheming for men of higher classes. I had chosen to go to the bad by tracking all women’s e-mails on internet and lonely hearts adverts, and then disguise as the so called right soul mate. In fact my scheme succeeded by cunningly convincing one of the business women in Kansanga via e-mail that I was the Mr. Right she was searching for through the media. In my e-mail to her, I nick-named myself as JK Salsa, and disguised as a corporate white English citizen in Oxford UK working for an executive shirt production firm in London. I even sent to her a photograph of a handsome looking English gentleman which caught her eyes, believing that it was mine.

The lady fell in love with me and kept exchanging love mails, until she realized later that my letter language was full of the awkward age gimmicks and sweet nothings of young lovers. As a lady who had climbed up the corporate ladder and a big business owner, she blasted me and opted for other potential Mr. Rights. My dreams of luring her pay for my air ticket from Uganda to the UK were shattered and contemplated to drown my sorrows in heavy drinking. However, I had succeeded in taking ten Makerere University girls for a ride. They had all disclosed their top secrets to me via e-mails, after falling in love with my “white man’s photo”.

I had as well deceived one Born-again Christian girl at Kampala Pentecostal Church that I had connected her to the white gentleman in the photo, and she fell on her knees to give thanks to the God of wonders. So she kept on sending mails to the “photo” and I concentrated on replying. But when I discovered that her mails were contradictory to her real lifestyle, I sent her a chucking letter! She eventually came to me crying that “Michael, the guy you connected me to has abandoned me!” I saw scales beginning to fall from her eyes.

My scheme of lying to girls was growing in leaps and bounds and I was determined to grow higher and bigger and build an empire of longing women. But one day I was in a taxi in a crowded section of Kampala city going to send more e-mails to more girls, when I got a phone call. Someone called Susan was inviting me to attend their Cell meeting of Kampala Pentecostal Church at Bweyogerere. I was mesmerized and instantly came back to my senses that I was once a committed Born-again Christian. But I had lost track since joining University at Makerere three years back. I heard a still small voice in my heart convicting me to know who this lady was. In fact it was my first time to receive a call from such a lady talking in a melodious holy voice full of concern and care.

I promised Susan on phone that I would attend the Cell meeting, since Bweyogerere was even my Uncle’s residence. And that evening I boarded a taxi to Bweyogerere and went to Julian’s apartment hosting the Cell. I bumped into a group of four jolly young ladies, including Susan, who welcomed me with smiles I had never seen before. After being shown my seat, the first statement I read on the wall hanging was, “Lost but now Found”. It sank like a stone deep down into my soul.

Since then, I once again recommitted my life to Christ and began serving God with all my heart. I discovered that Susan was the Cell Leader and she did a great job in mentoring me into church ministry. She encouraged me to undergo New Life Class, Cell Life training and a series of other programs in church. I diligently sought to learn more of whatever she was directing me to do, and later she stepped down for me to be in charge of the Cell of over ten Christians who were all older and more experienced than me. I was overwhelmed but chose to let God’s will be done. Susan was to start working upcountry for World Vision. However, she retained the responsibility of being the official Cell Leader as I acted as a Cell Leader in-turn.

Two years down the road, I began interacting closely with Susan. I wanted to know more about this amazing lady. I wanted to hear her sweet words again in my ears which had begun itching again. But I had no way through to her heart. I thought of communicating to her in a special way. And one day I sent an e-mail to her saying:

“Hello, Thanks a lot for the work you’re doing. I have to apologize for being a poor communicator especially via mail. However, I am in a great need of your continued support and co-operation. I dedicated myself to serving God’s people in telling His awesome power to the nations.

“Currently, I am dedicated to offer not-for-profit services to all Christians seeking for opportunities to testify of God’s goodness in their lives through the written word. I have been involved in doing the same but at low ebb. We have now established a team of creative writers (BW-Club) to develop these testimonies into literary texts, so that you and I do not live in and leave this world with potentially untold stories.

“We prepare and develop your testimony/story either for record purposes, dissemination or publication (whatever you choose). We do this interactively in case you have no documented literature at hand. You only have to avail us with a few minutes, hours or days for recording your life-story/testimony, and the rest of the work is left for us. After our part is done, we invite or bring you the developed story (biography, novel, play, narrative poem, short story etc) for review and then further steps taken. Please check the attached file for details, and your testimony is highly welcome (Rev, 12:11). Thanks and may God bless you. Michael.”

Just within one day, Susan had gotten back to me with a very short message saying:

“Thanks Michael, That’s thoughtful of you. You know when God blesses us; He wants us to bless others too.  I have a story but its still in the making, we’ll keep in touch. God bless the works of your hands. Susan.”

Her message intrigued me to know more about her story. But it looked a little bit hard for me because I knew she was a very committed lady at her workplace. I had to look for avenues of getting her story. I needed it. I longed for it. I was craving for it. So after a week of serious reflections and puzzles, I sent her this mail in reply:

“Susan, how is work and yourself? I think I’ll never forgive myself for spending decades without visiting you! But I hope you’re ok. I had rumors that you had gone for a “mega” wedding on Friday! I think you had a great time.

“Thanks a lot for your gifts to our patient (Mary). It required two very muscular gentlemen to deliver the gifts to the patient! Ladies (even of Lillian’s size) couldn’t handle. Mary was also overwhelmed and almost ran out of breath! Can you imagine we were 5 Cell members (Alex, Charles, Lillian, Joy and myself) without counting the young Lorna! Mary told us that life is too challenging for her these days since she has no guaranteed source of income. Her last born (Birungi) also tested positive but is not yet on medication. She also gave her life to Christ with her children and they now attend a nearby local church! Everything was good and I thank God; Cell members are now getting more committed to this cause.

“We also had a prayer in Cell meeting that very Friday. Lillian informed us that you proposed we start meeting on Saturdays for Cell instead of Wednesdays. Most of us were not comfortable with the suggestion especially Charles whose business booms mostly on Saturdays. However, it still remains debatable because we really miss you guys who cannot make it on Wednesdays. The Children’s Cell is now in full bloom courtesy of Joy as the host & facilitator, and Lillian as a co-facilitator. But there is still need for the Cell to be approved by Jajja at Children’s Church, and encouraging children from the neighborhoods and nearby Cells to attend the Cell every Saturday.

“I am going through both heaven and hell! Can you imagine I failed to go for VCT after the accident just because I feared to be traumatized and give up my plans! You know I have a huge burden in my heart of serving God through writing. I have just completed a 230pp book titled “Omuzimu gw’e Mbale” (the demon of Mbale) which is awaiting critiques. And now I am working on expanding such services beyond myself.

“I thought of establishing a Christians’ writers club called (By the Word- BW Club) derived from Revelation 12: 11, to write Christians’ testimonies and develop them into literary texts for publication. The moment I mentioned of it, someone immediately expressed interest in helping him develop his life-story, and several other Christians. But I am still considering the right procedures to follow. I haven’t yet established a committed team to work with, though I have 2 university OGs who have already promised to give me a helping hand. Yet I would like to involve Cell, and this means I’ll have to include KPC in creating awareness. Patricia promised to table my mission at the Pastors’ table at KPC-East and get back to me later this week. I really need prayers for God’s wisdom. (See the attached files for details of this mission) and please I need your advice, direction and recommendation.

“Let me end here for now, you know I am using an internet café, yet these days am running broke at a very terrific speed! It seems there is a financial breakthrough waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. Goodbye dear and say hello to Moses. Michael.”

This time, Susan didn’t reply the letter immediately. I checked my mail box several times but all in vain. I began shivering, thinking that may be one of my words might have offended her emotions in one way or another. However, it was after some weeks of waiting, that’s when she finally visited our Cell meeting. She looked composed and charming. This time she came along with her husband called Moses Otai. Susan and Moses were the only married couple in our Cell. I didn’t know much about Moses, but since he was the husband to Susan, I came to draw closer to him. He was a strong silent giant who would easily pounce at anyone if challenged. But when I discovered that he’s a committed Born-again Christian, I realized that he wasn’t as harsh as I had anticipated. What I never liked about him was his strictness on time management. Even when in Cell he could not feel at ease if members started gossiping about issues not related to the Cell Agenda. He would look at the Cell Leader with a cautioning eye that could force him to panic and read the next question on the agenda immediately.

In order to learn more details about Susan, I had to involve her husband as well. The discovery of her husband was indeed a great relief for the intense feelings I had started to develop towards her. But now how could I fall in love with another man’s wife. Not me a Christian! So Moses became my entry point into the hidden life of Susan. But I did not tell him either that I was on a secret mission. I had to befriend him and start talking freely on issues concerning him and her in their marriage. But this could as well mean that I had to chip in marrieds’ issues in our interactions. My greatest challenge however was that I was only threatening to date someone’s daughter, but not very much involved in man-woman love issues. One day I chose to send him a message saying;

“Dear Moses, it is nice I got your address and so we’ll keep in touch. How is work in the Eastland where men of wisdom reside? Thank you for your services there in our own land of the rising sun. I was not impressed by reports that Eastern Uganda is the second last developed region in Uganda. It is like these guys have chosen to grind the faces of the poor into dust. But when I imagine people like you keeping your nose to the grinding stone to ensure sustainable development initiatives in the region, I feel so grateful.

“Thank you for your contributions and gifts to our patient. She was overwhelmed by your concern, care, sacrifice and love. Unfortunately her last born also tested positive and not yet on medication. By her own fair hand she also tried to look for all kinds of jobs till her face turned blue, and now she feels like she’s fighting a losing battle against her greatest fears. But my prayer is we continue to stand with her family in the good times and bad.

“Do you know that these days we miss you so much in Cell? I personally can’t wait. You’re a bit lost and yet some of us would like to hear your good counsel from your heart. I remember the counsel you gave us one day on how to identify a right partner. It will never be erased from my memory. I am currently undergoing such a painful mid-life crisis to win somebody’s hand but I know with that advice you gave us, I’ll get off with a flying start.

“When are you planning to meet with us? Our attendance fluctuates every week but time alone will tell the way forward. Some members were suggesting that we meet on Saturdays. It was a bright idea, but…others are not very comfortable with it. However your suggestion is also very welcome. Have a great day. I hope those baboons in Busitema will not ambush you on your way back! Nice time. God bless you. Michael.”

His reply came just in time and he visited us in Cell with his wife-Susan. I think they were going through a hell of exhaustion due to the busyness they had buried themselves into at World Vision and Christian Children’s Fund respectively. I envied them rather because by then I had no guaranteed source of income and was surviving on peanuts from my Uncle’s crumbling NGO consultancy. So we sat in Cell and Susan took lead of the meeting. Her husband joined later and we enjoyed the moment. Susan had carried a luggage of gifts for the adopted patient of our Cell and even handed over to me other gifts to deliver to the Watoto children as her husband watched us silently. Two days later I discovered that Moses had earlier sent me a message saying;

“Michael, thank you for the complements, it is good to hear from you. I hope you are doing well. I did not know that my experiences would impact anybody. Thank you. Eastern Uganda is good, we believe with time abject poverty will be history in our people. Sorry for the HIV affected H/H. We will meet and discuss how to enable her child access treatment & necessary care. If she traveled to Mildmay on Entebbe Road, she can be supported.

You will overcome that midlife crisis and God will see you through. Just be resilient.

I am in Kampala, so I hope to attend tomorrow's Cell. Kind regards & God bless.”

Moses was one of the few gentlemen I least expected to reply to my messages. Unlike many corporate men whom I had communicated to earlier, he proved me wrong by his immediate reply. I knew he had quit his job at World Vision where he worked with Susan. And he had immediately secured another job at Christian Children’s Fund in Eastern Uganda. I do suppose he liked the place since his parents’ home area is within that region. So I liked him, because Teso region and Bugisu are almost sisters. We share a lot in common apart from the language. What the Iteso are better at than the Bagisu is their fluent command of the English language. They speak it even better than the Queen herself. But the Bagisu are far beyond the Iteso in as far as brevity is concerned. We can stand before the sharpest knife on earth for our circumcision without blinking an eye! I could not imagine a man of velour like Moses to ever dare stand even before a mere razorblade!

So I chose to take an immediate chance to communicate back to Moses and this time trying my level best to go a little deeper than in the previous letter. But I had to do this as cunning as possible so that he doesn’t smell the rat at any one moment. So I hid myself in a prayer cover first, and then replied to his message saying;

“Dear Moses, thanks a lot for your immediate reply, I was mesmerized that we attended Cell together without knowing that you had already given me a feedback. So I had to pull out all the stops to write back. I hope the laying off process at CCF went well and new jobs have been created. Unfortunately some of us are too busy working so hard that we have no time to make money or look for jobs. Personally at my work I am working to learn not to earn. So when I hear employees being put out to grass, I feel pity for them because they’ll have to go through pain without a steady paycheck.

“Your experiences are a real life impact on our lives because people like me look up to you for answers on some puzzling life matters like getting hitched. Did you know that you’re the only committed married couple in our Cell? For Joy and Chris are never seen coming to Cell together like you. Most of us look like contented singles, yet I suppose we are sitting on hot bricks.

“Our patient again kicked up her heels when she received another gift from your family. She has also been connected to a CBO called Pro-life in Kireka who have pledged to train her in some viable IGAs, and she’ll be required to have a starting capital of about 30,000/= to run her preferred IGA. Her child is supposed to be connected to a referral center in Nsambya, but the person to take them wants a refund of her transport costs. However, she was so happy that we’re standing by her side.

“My midlife crisis still continues but God has given me a heart of gold, that I’ve been enabled to exercise patience amidst a blazing furnace. God bless you and thanks for your concern, care and love. Say hello to Susan. Nice time.”

Later when Susan kept attending our meetings and leading the Cell, I sensed something strange in her behavior. She could look at me with skeptical eyes as if she smelled the rat. But I had done nothing wrong against her. Neither had I offended her. Probably her husband had told her something strange.

Away from the Cell meetings, one Joy, a Cell member had expressed her ingratitude towards Susan for being a stumbling block in the face of her children’s ministry initiative. Joy said that Susan had refused the operation of the children’s Cell at Joy’s home until the children’s Pastor at Church approves it. “But how will the Pastor approve something which is not existing?” asked Joy looking straight in my eyes, as if I was the cause of their misunderstanding. “In fact, when you sent me your message, it made me even sicker!” I had earlier sent Joy a text message saying;

“Hi Joy, I hope you’re okay. How is Lorna and Larissa; your children? Did children’s Cell go well? Julian, our Host, wants to send you more children. You’re a bit rare; Let me hope everything is okay. We miss you so much in Cell. Have a goodnight. Michael.”

Joy went ahead and missed all the Cell meetings of the weeks that followed. When I visited and talked to Lillian, the co-facilitator of the pending Children’s Cell about the issue, she told me that Joy was really very annoyed with Susan for postponing her program. “But there is no need for us to panic”, said Lillian, with her heavy body mass rested on a mat at the veranda of her home. “It is our obligation as members to obey our Cell Leader,” she added. I later discovered that probably this is likely to be the reason why Susan was behaving with a changed attitude towards me. So I decided to send her a message saying:

“Dear Susan; I hope all is well. Oh, you missed Isaac’s wedding on Saturday. I personally ate like a horse as others swam in an ocean of sodas. Why didn’t you attend? Even my friend Peter (the visually impaired) was there; probably looking at the bride and the bridegroom in rose-colored spectacles. Julian was running up and down, I think to ensure that the decoration colors were consistent. I am still wondering why they chose pink, black and white. Do you have any clue? Yet for me I was putting on something like green shoes but didn’t steal any show. But my greatest shock of the day was that the best-man (David) and the Matron. They almost stole the show from the bride and the bridegroom! They were too smart! And they left me tempted to put ‘wedding’ on my new year’s resolution.

“I think Joy is not very happy with us letting her to wait for long till the approval of the Children’s Cell by Jajja. She has even refrained from attending our Wednesday meetings, now for the third week in row. Nice holidays. Michael.”

The message seemed to have landed on a rock that cannot be moved. I waited for any reply from Susan in vain. My fears became imminent and started regretting why I had opted for the mission of encroaching on people’s busyness and private lives. But I didn’t lose heart. I determined to thrive on risk rather than avoiding it. But on the eve of our Cell’s deadline to deliver the Watoto Christmas gifts, Susan sent me a text message saying; “Hey, I wanted to be there for Cell today but I am still held up in town. How far have reached with the Watoto gifts? We may not attend Super Cell Sunday since we’ve got a function in the village. So please plan for that day.”

Later, I heard that Susan had to Kumi District in Eastern Uganda to celebrate the big days with her husband’s family. Rumor had it that it was her very first time to visit that family. And given the fact that Susan and Moses were worlds apart in as far as tribal differences are concerned, her in-laws were having a good time assessing her cooking skills and how she takes care of her husband. I was also awestruck with imaginations of seeing a Mukiga woman from Kabale in Southwestern Uganda in an interface with an Ateso family in the East! It must have been a very trying moment for her.

So one night I sent Susan bad news concerning our Cell’s HIV/AIDS patient, Mary the widow. She had been allegedly caught red-handed in a sex scandal with a sixteen year old young boy of her neighbor and fled, leaving behind a family of three children! As the Cell Leader in charge, I tried to tress for Mary’s whereabouts in vain. Fortunately her two children had been taken to live with their uncles in Kampala town. And it had been later confirmed that the youngest girl who was also HIV positive had also disappeared with her mother in thin air.

“Sorry Michael,” Susan’s text read, “That’s serious yet she is infected! I am really disturbed. I am wishing you the best in tomorrow’s Super Cell Sunday. Pray for the New Year Plans. We’re in Kumi. Happy New Year.”

We had earlier planned as a Cell to host Mary and her family and have a good time towards the end of the year. In fact every Cell member brought eats and our Cell Host had availed us with delicious meals and drinks. Everything had been colorfully planned and the air was all waiting for Mary to have her best of times. But the news of her scandal left each one of us in awe. So after the Super Cell Sunday, I wrote a mail to Susan to update her on what happened during the Super Cell Sunday, saying:

“Susan, Happy New 2008! I wonder where you spent your New Year’s Eve in Kumi. Personally I wanted to go to Namboole, Nakivubo or Kololo but it all looked like these guys were competing for Christian crowds. So I stayed home. Unfortunately, I didn’t go for All Nite Sing either.

I was surprised that you’re in Eastern Uganda. How’re you coping with the language burrier there? Have you all resorted to English only? For us we enjoyed Super Cell and ate like horses the delicious eats that you prepared for us. Unfortunately, our patient missed the celebration. We are still uncertain of her whereabouts. But her children I heard had been taken to their uncle somewhere in town. However, thanks so much for keeping in touch.

We also reviewed and assessed our performance as a Cell n 2007 and we were grateful for the far the Lord has brought us from. Some of the 2007 highlights included adopting the HIV/AIDS patient, regular Friday prayers in Cell, seed project, prayer walk, support to our neighbor Isaac in his wedding and the impending Children’s Cell among others.

Members set goals some of which included WEDDINGS for most of us who are still single. Charles, Aggie and Lillian are the forerunners, as Stephen, Alex and myself seemed like were seeing a blurred distant future! Cell meetings will be held on Saturdays as earlier proposed to enable our brethren who work upcountry to be fully involved. And we want to revive our diminishing relationships by keeping regular communication and by being our brothers’ keepers, as we also continue to stand by our fellow members who are not yet employed.

I wish you and Moses a very beautiful 2008. By the way, do not forget to send me some any intriguing stories from Kumi. I am really curious for them. Thanks.

Behind Closed Doors: LOVE COMES SOFTLY

ONE of the things I came to dislike about the female folk is that I could hardly find a genuine woman in her behavior. I heard many young men of my age by then complaining that their girlfriends could say one thing and mean the other. If for example a girl said “Yes” for a relationship with a guy, it could probably mean that she’s simply playing dirty tricks behind his back. And if she said “No” the word which never left being on the lips of many, one could be just giving herself a grace period to read the guy like a book before she could eventually say ‘Yes’. To be genuine, several ‘Nos’ had ended up into ‘Yes’ regardless of whether one is a Christian or not.

To my greatest shock in life, one girl (whose name I beg not to disclose) said to me a serious “No” even before I proposed to her. She claimed that she had smelled a rat when one of my closest friends at the University continuously teased her that I talked about her all sweetness and light in my conversations. So one night when I called her, she blasted me over the phone reprimanding me in the most authoritative tone I had never heard before that she hated secret admirers. Though truly she had caught my eyes, I denied the fact that she was killing me softly. So I put on a sheep’s clothing and behaved holier than thou, and said that I wasn’t a kind of guy with such a wicked mentality.

Few months down the road, we were getting on like a house on fire and every student in our faculty at campus could easily tell that we were lovebirds. But I kept my proposal intact even after our university studies. She tried to lure me believe that she was a free bird up for grabs, but I kept my lips sealed. She even went to the extent of teasing me in one of our regular meetings that how could I fail to propose to at least a single girl when we were still at campus and prepare for marriage. But still, I remained dumb and dumber. Later when I discovered that she had got an opportunity to fly abroad, I simply joked that, “So, will you still love me even after coming back from the States?” I suppose everyone can now guess her answer. 

After narrowly surviving a terrible accident that almost cost my life, I discovered that with life, we have to be grateful to God for whatever second of every moment of every day. Every minute that passes by counts as long as we know that we’ll have to be accountable to our maker on how we made use of the resources he put under our control. So in one of our church Cell meetings in Bweyogerere Kampala, one young lady presented a prayer request seeking for employment as a Human Resource Manager. By simply mentioning the term ‘Human Resource’ I was discovering my mission in life. That’s when I realized that all Christians around me were God’s resources he had placed before me to be of service. And I recognized that the more people I could serve, the more money I was to make in life if I wanted to become rich as well. So I started seeing every Christian as a potential human resource from God for me to serve His purposes. I have a feeling that someone might be getting offended in one way or another. But that’s how I discovered my gifting.

I stopped complaining why God placed me in a world full of problems especially with people, and started viewing those hardships as opportunities for me to thrive on. I even began hating the way I was trained in the academic world to always remember the right answers in order to be promoted to the next level. Why was I supposed to graduate after my university studies anyway? It looked ridiculous when my eyes were opened in the real world that I was just an amateur. I simply knew a lot about very little. I never desired again to call myself a graduate. My education in the real world had to continue until the day I die. I even told one of my friends that when I die, that’s when they should remember to buy for me graduation gowns to be buried in.

One day I sent a mail to one of the ladies whose name sounded just melodious to me. I had anticipated her to be a Christian because I had got her address from one of my good Christian friends in our Cell Meetings. My desire for adventure and have real life glimpses into people’s untold stories had been spurred by the discovery of my gifting in the world of the living. So I sent to her a message saying:

“Dear Sophie, this is Michael (KPC Cell E1E3A) Bweyogerere-Ntebetebe. I am so blessed that I got your e-mail address from Andrew. He is a very good person. And now I am confident that we’ll always keep in touch. My heart’s desire is to share lifetime experiences with someone. Sometimes we go through deep waters, sail on top of the highest peaks and pass through fire; but we still remain lonely. I know God loves us. But we haven’t genuinely received the love of people. On the contrary ourselves, we should also learn to love others. But it is hard for us because many of them find it difficult to understand us. And they are right, because like for me personally I rarely disclose my heartaches or joys to anyone. I really need someone (probably you) to share testimonies, experiences, ins and outs etc via e-mailing, for God’s glory. Thank you and kind regards.”

Unlike some Christians to whom I had sent the similar mail before, this lady seemed to be much more receptive than the rest. Some people take life to be ‘serious busyness’ all day long and even at dawn. They are so frigid that one can wonder whether there is any reason for him or her to be friendly with them. It can be bearable with a lady who is probably playing hard-to-get, but for a man, it is intolerable. But I got the impression that Sophie was probably none of the ‘too busy’ kind of human beings. Her reply came just in time saying:

“Hi Michael, It’s good to hear from you, thanks for the message and yes I know there are a lot of things that people go through in life and it’s good to share. I appreciate the fact that you find me trustworthy enough to share with you, but just one problem is I can’t quite recall who you are, but that should not be a problem, we can still communicate. Otherwise have yourself a good day and Christmas. Regards, Sophie.”

Sophie made me recall the stereo typing that ladies who say ‘Yes’ on first impression are masters at playing dirty tricks behind one’s back. But since she had expressed some concern that she didn’t know who I was, she was right anyway. But some strangers are at times heavenly angels. So they have to be entertained as best as one can. And given the fact that one of my names is Michael, I automatically qualified to be that angel who drove Lucifer from the heavens. So I fantasized. I imagined then that probably I would be making history just simply as I had started building something from northing. One Pastor by the name of Anita Oyakhilome had one time emphasized in their Rhapsody of Realities that; when the great apostle Paul penned the epistles, he probably thought he was just writing letters to his churches. He wrote what God asked him to write as best as he could, with the Holy Spirit working in him. Today his writings form more than half of the New Testament.

That encouragement made me get off with a bang and involve many irons in the fire of making history. Writing is eternal because it always leaves a legacy that lasts to everlasting. Who doesn’t know that Jesus said that even the heaven we strive to enter will pass away but his word will never? Anyway, I had to carry on with the mission and keep Sophie posted and assured of security. So I wrote back to her saying:

 

“Dear Sophie, it is so wonderful that you spared time and replied to my mail. I really like that and may God bless you for your concern, care and sacrifice. How was your Christmas? To me it almost became a fate worse than death because I just locked myself in my room and slept off till Boxing Day! Yet I had what it takes to celebrate but I just do not know why I took it so lightly! Probably I need some prayers. But now I am keeping my eye open for the next celebrations.

“It is fortunate for me that you’re also willing to share what’s on your heart with me. Personally I do not mind a lot whether someone is trustworthy or not because in life we need to love one another unconditionally for God’s glory. Though, I appreciate the virtue of trustworthiness. I am a little afraid that you’re feeling quite uncomfortable because you do not know who I am. I’ve just remembered how God told Moses that I am who I am! But it is a matter of fact for any normal human being to be cautious. However, God always gives us opportunities and courage to go forward, to think clearly, to study, to read, and to talk to new people, to come up with new ideas and new actions that glorify His name.

“So, just as you saw my name, I am simply called Michael. I belong to KPC Cell E1E3A and by God’s grace I stepped in Susan’s footsteps as a Cell Leader or Leader in-turn, whatever the case. Susan is always upcountry trying to make ends meet, but she’s a very wonderful mentor who often made me walk with my head in the clouds.

“One of my most thrilling experiences is to communicate to new people in my life. And not merely communicating, but building a meaningful relationship with them. I feel a burning passion deep down in my heart that sometimes we belong to the same Church but continue acting like strangers every Sunday. So I’ve made it my specialty to turn “strangers” into my brothers and sisters, share God’s goodness with them, love them, and fly in the face of conventional wisdom to testify of God’s love in their lives. I really thank God that you’re one of such new people in my life. So will you please become my sister? I wish you a beautiful 2008. Michael.”

That letter opened a whole can of worms into my emotions as it brought me unanticipated problems. I had earlier thought as LG that Life’s good! But one Andrew knocked the stuffing out of me when he expressed concern over his friends who were ringing his phone off the hook asking him who Michael was! He said that I had sent mails to many of his friends, persuading them to share heavenly testimonies with me.

I would have clarified the issue there and then, but since we were in the Cell Leaders’ meeting I had to know how many beans make five. The mails I used to send were aimed at building a regular writing relationship with any Christian to enable them write their lifetime testimonies as I develop such into real novels like the one you’re currently reading. But that was my only intellectual property by then which I couldn’t share with anyone unless after signing confidentiality agreements. So I cunningly answered Andrew that I had just forwarded a junk mail I had got from him which probably sprung into other people’s addresses. Good enough, one Cell Leader called David came to my rescue and emphasized that that virus is called Trojan horse. And that it detects subscribers’ passwords on the internet and then spreads to other e-mail addresses one sends messages to. I got a sigh of relief and changed the topic.

However, I could not sleep that night as I wondered why people like Sophie could do such a thing that made me tell a lie amidst God’s meeting! I had heard earlier in my life that there is a very thin line between a lie and the truth. But as a Cell Leader I had to lead my flock with exemplary moral excellence and avoid being a disgrace to them. But I had lied right in the meeting of leaders. So I confessed my apologies to the Almighty and started planning to do the same to Andrew and to the rest of the would-be-offended Christians who had read my mail. In fact one recipient named Jackie had earlier replied to me in her mail saying: “This is a weird e-mail and I am not sure how to respond to it. On top of that, I am not good with mail. I read my mails like once a month or even two. So I don’t know how that would be of benefit to you but I’ll think about it.”

I considered that to be a very rude reply compared to my efforts of being as gentle as possible in my writings. Coupled with Andrews’s phone ringing off the hook, I had started to test the real harsh world of dealing with human resource. One author of Rich Dad’s Before You Quit Your Job claimed that he had made making calculated risks his specialty. And that whatever mistake he made it was an opportunity for him to stop, think, learn and correct. He would therefore thrive on such risks to propel his businesses to higher levels. So I too, had begun on my journey of learning things the hard way. However I stopped, thought, learnt and corrected the mess I had so far created by writing apologies to each of Andrew’s friends saying:

“I am very sorry dear that I sent you messages requesting you to share lifetime testimonies, experiences, and ins and outs in 2007. I suppose you were offended in one way or another given the fact that you do not know me in person. I now see my fault that I acted irrationally though I wanted to be friendly and of service. I really apologize, please forgive me. But please let’s just keep in touch for God’s glory. Michael (0752290078)”.

I as well ensured that I correct the similar mess I might have created in Andrew’s mind. Things would become hot and beyond my control in case my fellow Cell Leaders in the Section found out that I made dubious crooked schemes in the body of Christ, that boomerang! So I sent Andrew a slightly generalized apology saying:

“Dear Andrew, I am really very sorry. I have discovered that I forwarded a mail to all e-mail addresses of your friends requesting them to share lifetime testimonies with me. Though I wanted to be friendly and of service, I now see my fault that I acted irrationally. I have sent them all an apology message and I believe God that they’ll forgive me. Please forgive me too. But please pray for me that my dreams and desire to be of service and excel in God’s publishing ministry shall not be cut off; that they will be granted and be courageous to follow them through. Thanks. Michael.”

However, before sending an apology to all Andrew’s friends, I found in my mail inbox Sophie’s reply waiting for me. I had to stop, think, learn and correct again. I got a temptation that it might not be wise to send apologies to all when some people were indeed interested in being friendly. So I had to delete out e-mail addresses of some recipients who had responded to my first mail just as Sophie had done. And at the back of my mind I had a fear that it might have been Sophie who called Andrew to inquire who I am. This is because I had heard Andrew mention something like Stanbic Bank, a name that appeared in Sophie’s e-mail address. And he sounded like he was talking about a very important and committed member of Kampala Pentecostal Church. But when I saw her mail in my inbox again, I took another heavy sigh of relief, removed her name from the apology list, sent apologies to others, and embarked on reading her mail that said:

“Hi Michael (without a second name),

“I have no problem at all with being your sister though I already believe I am your sister in the Lord and I rarely get scared of people unless they give me reason to do so and since you’re Born-again and a Cell Leader I don’t think I need to be scared.

“Well, I hope you had a good cross over to 2008 and your family is fine as well as the Cell members. I have had a challenging one but only seen more of God's hand in my life. 

“I am not sure why you locked yourself up and slept on Christmas! But I had a great one with my Family Members upcountry. I really hope you can get out and interact with people on every big day at least friends. Well, that is how I like it i.e. being with people (I appreciate the fact that we could have different interests so don’t get upset). I hope there was no problem, if there was then I am sorry about it.  

“Anyway I have to leave work now; it’s been good to hear from you and I hope you have a wonderful and fruitful 2008. God Bless. Sophie.”

Her reply was so delicate that I wondered whether my fears of a controversy that might have broken up between her and Andrew really happened. Still at the back of my mind I had all sorts of imaginations about this wonderful woman. I imagined she was a banker probably a CPA or someone who is happily married to a dude with bouncing children jumping up and down like a tennis ball in their magnificent mansion at the seaside. Or probably she’s a young lady preferably of my age group who had hit the jackpot and climbed up the corporate ladder soon after her university. Perhaps she was a committed Christian who had taken a vow of poverty for the service in God’s house all her lifetime. But I remained calm and contented since she’d already given me an inch. So it was a turn for me to play my cards right and take miles deeper into her life and dig out the treasures she’d hidden in the secret places. My reply was immediately designed and sent saying:

“Hi Sophie, I am so grateful that you wrote back. Thank you so much; it is really rare these days in an increasingly busy world for a person to spare time and communicate back especially by e-mail. You’re a very good person and may God bless the works of your hands.

This is Michael (I am guilty of not disclosing my second name. I suppose I am stereotyped to assume that some people are tribe sensitive. But my second name is so controversial that one can hardly tell which tribe I am. Some say I am a Muganda due to my fluency in Luganda. Others claim that I am a Musoga due to the name. But the majority believe I am a Mumasaba/Mugisu due to circumcision. Now I understand why even Jesus asked his disciples that ‘But who do you say I am?”). Any way, my second name is Mugoya. And to be honest I prefer being addressed by it.

But I am really wondering whether you’re still interested in being a sister to a person who originates from the remotest slopes of Mt. Elgon in Mbale, the land of the rising sun! However, thanks to God that He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes, with the princes of their people! Glory to God that you’re not scared of being my sister.

I am so grateful to the heavenly Father that I crossed to 2008. In 2007 I spent 3 days in a coma after getting involved in a terrible accident that took the lives of over 6 people in a car crash in Kiboga. Up to now, I can’t believe that I have found my feet, alive and kicking! The only problem with me is I don’t know how to celebrate.

In Cell we enjoyed the close of 2007 in Super Cell Sunday and ate like horses the delicious meals our Host Julian prepared for us. We had earlier planned to celebrate with our adopted HIV/AIDS patient, but unfortunately she missed it. She was allegedly caught red-handed in a sex scandal with a 16-year old young boy and fled from the village! We are still uncertain of her whereabouts. But her children I heard had been taken to their uncle somewhere in Kampala town. It was really sad.

As you said, in fact I indeed need to change some of my attitudes and begin celebrating with my family and friends on big days. I think I should learn to refuse allowing some circumstances of life dictate my happiness and count it all joy even when I go through diverse tests. Sophie, I have to think twice.

Let me end here for today, but I am very sorry for the challenges you went through. However, don’t ever give up on praying, studying and doing the Word of God. The Word of God to you will always work for you. Therefore no matter the pressures or challenges that you face, refuse to give up. No matter what situation stretches you to give up, God wants you to know that His indwelling presence remains in you. He’s working on your behalf. As long as God is in control of your life, you’ll move upward and forward. Sophie, did anything wrong happen your way? Kind regards. Michael.

Behind Closed Doors: WHY WEEPEST THOU?

THE day I saw a young lady breaking into tears was still far from what I had earlier dreamt of in life. I had dreamt of love, fame and glory in a world awaiting me on the other side of the hill. I had just had a glimpse of that world calling deep “carry on, you’re on the right track,” when I saw a young woman down in tears. She bent on her knees with her hair and beautiful eyes beneath the lap of a young man who seemed less concerned about the potful of tears pouring down his feet. The girl wept, and wept and wept! I almost intervened to ask what hell had befallen the couple on such a beautiful ground. But the young man signaled me to close the door behind my back and make immediate plans of leaving them alone. I obeyed his wishes, picked my books from the room and proceeded to the university library to continue pursuing the world that I dreamt of.

When I came back to the room to have our supper, I found my roommate celebrating. He was so excited that he could greet anyone who passed by our room which wasn’t his usual behavior. So when I amazingly asked him why he was instead excited yet I had seen his girlfriend in tears with her head glued to his lap, he continued to laugh. I almost thought he had ran short of his normal senses until when he uttered a statement that, “She’s finally gone!”

“Gone where?” I asked immediately.

“What a relief!” exclaimed Katuuramu, who was my university roommate, “She has finally walked out of my life?”

I could not believe what my ears were hearing from Katuuramu’s mouth. I had again thought and dreamt as young men do; of love, fame and glory. But I was now shocked to extremes that one was jubilating that someone had walked out of his love. It ironically sounded ridiculous. So where is love? I asked myself. Why the hell am I then spending sleepless nights burning the midnight oil? I thought all love, beauty, fame and glory reside at Makerere University Kampala! But how could my roommate chuck his girlfriend in a twinkling of an eye without regard to the tears she poured before him? Will I ever risk myself again to seek for love if people just repulse it? I didn’t pay my attention to any possible misunderstandings that might have been the causes of the lovebird’s break up.  But deep down in my heart, a still small voice told me to keep my eyes on the look for any groaning woman and wipe her tears with my veil.

I committed my life to hunt for weeping ladies but they were found only at funerals. Others screamed on top of their voices behind closed doors during nights. But I feared to intervene in such cases because I knew they were in safe custodies of their husbands. So I kept myself dedicated to the process of hunting for only ladies crying softly. However my mission seemed to be destined to a dead end since almost no weeping woman crossed my eyes even after finishing my undergraduate studies.

Years came and passed at a terrific bat, but the tears of Katuuramu’s x-girlfriend kept groaning deep down in my soul and kept me restless. It was until one day my friend Andrew sent me a mail with another copy sent to a lady named Peace. The name caught my fancy and curiosity. “Probably I was looking for peace! Peace not only for my inner being, but for the rest of humanity including the women folk. I decided to seek for Peace, and not for tears. But how would I reach out those who are caught amidst emotional turmoil without peace? I asked myself such questions until I chose to look out for them by hook or crook. So one evening I wrote a message to the lady whose name I knew was called Peace, but whose face I had never seen. I wrote:

“Dear Peace, this is Michael (KPC Cell E1E3A) Bweyogerere-Ntebetebe. This is to wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY 2008. I am so blessed that I got your e-mail address from Andrew. He is a very good person. And now I am confident that we'll always keep in touch through 2008. My heart's desire is to share lifetime experiences with someone.

“Sometimes we go through deep waters, sail on top of the highest peaks and pass through fire; but we still remain lonely. I know God loves us. But we haven't genuinely received the love of people. On the contrary ourselves, I think we should also learn to love others. But it is hard for some of us because some people find it difficult to understand us. And they are right, because for example personally I rarely disclose my heartaches or joys to anyone. So I really need someone (probably you) to share testimonies, experiences, ins and outs etc via e-mailing or other means, for God's glory. Thank you Joseph and kind regards. Michael”

My eyes were kept in anticipation of what would come out the bush into which I had thrown a strange stone. Four days down the road, I received an amazing message from Peace reading:

“Hullo Michael –

“Praise God!!  I don’t know how to say this –but I was in tears when I read your mail…. So touching!!

“Indeed –I’ve having been going through deep waters … actually went to “Hell” one week in November!!!   & came back ……But I am back & in full gear!!

“I thank God for who you are- Keep up the good spirit & work!!! You can reach me on 0773/212125- or 0772-same. Be Blessed. Thine”

As I was still in jubilation for at least having made a woman cry as she read my mail, the same woman sent me a thrilling story that left me intrigued to continue finding out what was really behind all this. I am must confess that I am very poor at reading, especially stories from strangers. But my curiosity was propelled to the next level as I curiously read through Peace’s story as follows:

Wow……….A real keeper this one is!!!

We were the only family with children in the restaurant.  I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking. Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, 'Hi.'  

He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray.  His eyes were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, as he wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment.  It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map.

We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. 'Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,' the man said to Erik.

My husband and I exchanged looks, 'What do we do?' Erik continued to laugh and answer, 'Hi.'

Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, 'Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo?  Hey, look, he knows peek-a-boo.'

Nobody thought the old man was cute.  He was obviously drunk. My husband and I were embarrassed.  We ate in silence; all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. 'Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,' I prayed.

As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's 'pick-me-up' position. Before I could stop him, Erik had propelled himself from my arms to the man.

Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love and kinship.  Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder.

The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back.

No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, 'You take care of this baby.'

Somehow I managed, 'I will,' from a throat that contained a stone.

He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, 'God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift.'

I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car.  My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, 'My God, my God, forgive me.'

I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes.  I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, 'Are you willing to share your son for a moment?' when He shared His for all eternity.

The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, 'To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children.'

Sometimes, it takes a child to remind us of what is really important. We must always remember who we are, where we came from and, most importantly, how we feel about others.  The clothes on  your  back or the car that  you drive or the house that you live in does not define you at all; it  is how you treat your  fellow man that identifies who you are.

 This one is a keeper.

'It is better to be liked for the true you, than to be loved for who people think you are......

With thanks to Tanya Johnson

After reading the story, I realized that my mind had been tickled. Many people are out there looking for love, I thought. But it is so unfortunate that most of us are so selfish with our love. We do not want to give it away, yet we always yearn to receive it. Where shall humanity ever be able to give out genuine love? For my sake, the love one shows to a stranger is equal to the love that Christ showed the world thousands of years ago. It is the same love which is still streaming through the world today. The love bought by blood. So I immediately responded to Peace’s mails with another one which I genuinely wanted to wipe her tears away. It read:

“Dear Peace, God’s name be praised because of you. It is now beyond my wildest dreams that just my words in a mail could make someone break into tears of joy! Goodness!!! But God works in mysterious ways and His love is beyond fathoming.

“I am very sorry dear Peace for the turmoil you went through in November. I am so puzzled that you sank to the deepest horrible corners of hell but still survived. But God has you in the palm of His loving hand, and His loving-kindness is from generations to generations.  For real, I am feeling so restless about that fate worse than death which befell you! Dear Peace, what really happened to you? But glory to God that your storm is over now and everything in the garden is becoming lovely for you. Thank Him for every second that passes by every moment of every day.

“Personally, a few months back I encountered a terrible accident in Kiboga that left over 6 people dead. I survived narrowly and spent 3 days in coma at International Hospital Kampala. After coming back to life, I realized that I wasn’t that special to survive such a tragic accident, but it was God’s mercies that I should live a little longer to fulfill the mission He bestowed on my heart in the world of the living. So I count it all joy, that even on my sickbed before finding my feet, God’s still small voice was communicating to me that we should always make His works known to the world. So I am now a recovering testifier.

“Dear Peace thanks so much for availing me with your telephone contacts. But I am afraid to say that I don’t know why I am so poor at communicating by phone! However via e-mail I always try my level best to keep my loved ones posted. But my line is 0752290078, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 366 days a year! By the way, thanks a lot for that story about the wretched unattractive dirty man whose loving arms embraced a beautiful innocent but wise baby, in front of a nervous mother! It was really intriguing. Where do you get such stories Peace? I wish you could send me more of them. However I am longing for your own story much more. Thanks dear and please keep in touch. With Love, Michael.”