Behind Closed Doors: LOVE COMES SOFTLY

ONE of the things I came to dislike about the female folk is that I could hardly find a genuine woman in her behavior. I heard many young men of my age by then complaining that their girlfriends could say one thing and mean the other. If for example a girl said “Yes” for a relationship with a guy, it could probably mean that she’s simply playing dirty tricks behind his back. And if she said “No” the word which never left being on the lips of many, one could be just giving herself a grace period to read the guy like a book before she could eventually say ‘Yes’. To be genuine, several ‘Nos’ had ended up into ‘Yes’ regardless of whether one is a Christian or not.

To my greatest shock in life, one girl (whose name I beg not to disclose) said to me a serious “No” even before I proposed to her. She claimed that she had smelled a rat when one of my closest friends at the University continuously teased her that I talked about her all sweetness and light in my conversations. So one night when I called her, she blasted me over the phone reprimanding me in the most authoritative tone I had never heard before that she hated secret admirers. Though truly she had caught my eyes, I denied the fact that she was killing me softly. So I put on a sheep’s clothing and behaved holier than thou, and said that I wasn’t a kind of guy with such a wicked mentality.

Few months down the road, we were getting on like a house on fire and every student in our faculty at campus could easily tell that we were lovebirds. But I kept my proposal intact even after our university studies. She tried to lure me believe that she was a free bird up for grabs, but I kept my lips sealed. She even went to the extent of teasing me in one of our regular meetings that how could I fail to propose to at least a single girl when we were still at campus and prepare for marriage. But still, I remained dumb and dumber. Later when I discovered that she had got an opportunity to fly abroad, I simply joked that, “So, will you still love me even after coming back from the States?” I suppose everyone can now guess her answer. 

After narrowly surviving a terrible accident that almost cost my life, I discovered that with life, we have to be grateful to God for whatever second of every moment of every day. Every minute that passes by counts as long as we know that we’ll have to be accountable to our maker on how we made use of the resources he put under our control. So in one of our church Cell meetings in Bweyogerere Kampala, one young lady presented a prayer request seeking for employment as a Human Resource Manager. By simply mentioning the term ‘Human Resource’ I was discovering my mission in life. That’s when I realized that all Christians around me were God’s resources he had placed before me to be of service. And I recognized that the more people I could serve, the more money I was to make in life if I wanted to become rich as well. So I started seeing every Christian as a potential human resource from God for me to serve His purposes. I have a feeling that someone might be getting offended in one way or another. But that’s how I discovered my gifting.

I stopped complaining why God placed me in a world full of problems especially with people, and started viewing those hardships as opportunities for me to thrive on. I even began hating the way I was trained in the academic world to always remember the right answers in order to be promoted to the next level. Why was I supposed to graduate after my university studies anyway? It looked ridiculous when my eyes were opened in the real world that I was just an amateur. I simply knew a lot about very little. I never desired again to call myself a graduate. My education in the real world had to continue until the day I die. I even told one of my friends that when I die, that’s when they should remember to buy for me graduation gowns to be buried in.

One day I sent a mail to one of the ladies whose name sounded just melodious to me. I had anticipated her to be a Christian because I had got her address from one of my good Christian friends in our Cell Meetings. My desire for adventure and have real life glimpses into people’s untold stories had been spurred by the discovery of my gifting in the world of the living. So I sent to her a message saying:

“Dear Sophie, this is Michael (KPC Cell E1E3A) Bweyogerere-Ntebetebe. I am so blessed that I got your e-mail address from Andrew. He is a very good person. And now I am confident that we’ll always keep in touch. My heart’s desire is to share lifetime experiences with someone. Sometimes we go through deep waters, sail on top of the highest peaks and pass through fire; but we still remain lonely. I know God loves us. But we haven’t genuinely received the love of people. On the contrary ourselves, we should also learn to love others. But it is hard for us because many of them find it difficult to understand us. And they are right, because like for me personally I rarely disclose my heartaches or joys to anyone. I really need someone (probably you) to share testimonies, experiences, ins and outs etc via e-mailing, for God’s glory. Thank you and kind regards.”

Unlike some Christians to whom I had sent the similar mail before, this lady seemed to be much more receptive than the rest. Some people take life to be ‘serious busyness’ all day long and even at dawn. They are so frigid that one can wonder whether there is any reason for him or her to be friendly with them. It can be bearable with a lady who is probably playing hard-to-get, but for a man, it is intolerable. But I got the impression that Sophie was probably none of the ‘too busy’ kind of human beings. Her reply came just in time saying:

“Hi Michael, It’s good to hear from you, thanks for the message and yes I know there are a lot of things that people go through in life and it’s good to share. I appreciate the fact that you find me trustworthy enough to share with you, but just one problem is I can’t quite recall who you are, but that should not be a problem, we can still communicate. Otherwise have yourself a good day and Christmas. Regards, Sophie.”

Sophie made me recall the stereo typing that ladies who say ‘Yes’ on first impression are masters at playing dirty tricks behind one’s back. But since she had expressed some concern that she didn’t know who I was, she was right anyway. But some strangers are at times heavenly angels. So they have to be entertained as best as one can. And given the fact that one of my names is Michael, I automatically qualified to be that angel who drove Lucifer from the heavens. So I fantasized. I imagined then that probably I would be making history just simply as I had started building something from northing. One Pastor by the name of Anita Oyakhilome had one time emphasized in their Rhapsody of Realities that; when the great apostle Paul penned the epistles, he probably thought he was just writing letters to his churches. He wrote what God asked him to write as best as he could, with the Holy Spirit working in him. Today his writings form more than half of the New Testament.

That encouragement made me get off with a bang and involve many irons in the fire of making history. Writing is eternal because it always leaves a legacy that lasts to everlasting. Who doesn’t know that Jesus said that even the heaven we strive to enter will pass away but his word will never? Anyway, I had to carry on with the mission and keep Sophie posted and assured of security. So I wrote back to her saying:

 

“Dear Sophie, it is so wonderful that you spared time and replied to my mail. I really like that and may God bless you for your concern, care and sacrifice. How was your Christmas? To me it almost became a fate worse than death because I just locked myself in my room and slept off till Boxing Day! Yet I had what it takes to celebrate but I just do not know why I took it so lightly! Probably I need some prayers. But now I am keeping my eye open for the next celebrations.

“It is fortunate for me that you’re also willing to share what’s on your heart with me. Personally I do not mind a lot whether someone is trustworthy or not because in life we need to love one another unconditionally for God’s glory. Though, I appreciate the virtue of trustworthiness. I am a little afraid that you’re feeling quite uncomfortable because you do not know who I am. I’ve just remembered how God told Moses that I am who I am! But it is a matter of fact for any normal human being to be cautious. However, God always gives us opportunities and courage to go forward, to think clearly, to study, to read, and to talk to new people, to come up with new ideas and new actions that glorify His name.

“So, just as you saw my name, I am simply called Michael. I belong to KPC Cell E1E3A and by God’s grace I stepped in Susan’s footsteps as a Cell Leader or Leader in-turn, whatever the case. Susan is always upcountry trying to make ends meet, but she’s a very wonderful mentor who often made me walk with my head in the clouds.

“One of my most thrilling experiences is to communicate to new people in my life. And not merely communicating, but building a meaningful relationship with them. I feel a burning passion deep down in my heart that sometimes we belong to the same Church but continue acting like strangers every Sunday. So I’ve made it my specialty to turn “strangers” into my brothers and sisters, share God’s goodness with them, love them, and fly in the face of conventional wisdom to testify of God’s love in their lives. I really thank God that you’re one of such new people in my life. So will you please become my sister? I wish you a beautiful 2008. Michael.”

That letter opened a whole can of worms into my emotions as it brought me unanticipated problems. I had earlier thought as LG that Life’s good! But one Andrew knocked the stuffing out of me when he expressed concern over his friends who were ringing his phone off the hook asking him who Michael was! He said that I had sent mails to many of his friends, persuading them to share heavenly testimonies with me.

I would have clarified the issue there and then, but since we were in the Cell Leaders’ meeting I had to know how many beans make five. The mails I used to send were aimed at building a regular writing relationship with any Christian to enable them write their lifetime testimonies as I develop such into real novels like the one you’re currently reading. But that was my only intellectual property by then which I couldn’t share with anyone unless after signing confidentiality agreements. So I cunningly answered Andrew that I had just forwarded a junk mail I had got from him which probably sprung into other people’s addresses. Good enough, one Cell Leader called David came to my rescue and emphasized that that virus is called Trojan horse. And that it detects subscribers’ passwords on the internet and then spreads to other e-mail addresses one sends messages to. I got a sigh of relief and changed the topic.

However, I could not sleep that night as I wondered why people like Sophie could do such a thing that made me tell a lie amidst God’s meeting! I had heard earlier in my life that there is a very thin line between a lie and the truth. But as a Cell Leader I had to lead my flock with exemplary moral excellence and avoid being a disgrace to them. But I had lied right in the meeting of leaders. So I confessed my apologies to the Almighty and started planning to do the same to Andrew and to the rest of the would-be-offended Christians who had read my mail. In fact one recipient named Jackie had earlier replied to me in her mail saying: “This is a weird e-mail and I am not sure how to respond to it. On top of that, I am not good with mail. I read my mails like once a month or even two. So I don’t know how that would be of benefit to you but I’ll think about it.”

I considered that to be a very rude reply compared to my efforts of being as gentle as possible in my writings. Coupled with Andrews’s phone ringing off the hook, I had started to test the real harsh world of dealing with human resource. One author of Rich Dad’s Before You Quit Your Job claimed that he had made making calculated risks his specialty. And that whatever mistake he made it was an opportunity for him to stop, think, learn and correct. He would therefore thrive on such risks to propel his businesses to higher levels. So I too, had begun on my journey of learning things the hard way. However I stopped, thought, learnt and corrected the mess I had so far created by writing apologies to each of Andrew’s friends saying:

“I am very sorry dear that I sent you messages requesting you to share lifetime testimonies, experiences, and ins and outs in 2007. I suppose you were offended in one way or another given the fact that you do not know me in person. I now see my fault that I acted irrationally though I wanted to be friendly and of service. I really apologize, please forgive me. But please let’s just keep in touch for God’s glory. Michael (0752290078)”.

I as well ensured that I correct the similar mess I might have created in Andrew’s mind. Things would become hot and beyond my control in case my fellow Cell Leaders in the Section found out that I made dubious crooked schemes in the body of Christ, that boomerang! So I sent Andrew a slightly generalized apology saying:

“Dear Andrew, I am really very sorry. I have discovered that I forwarded a mail to all e-mail addresses of your friends requesting them to share lifetime testimonies with me. Though I wanted to be friendly and of service, I now see my fault that I acted irrationally. I have sent them all an apology message and I believe God that they’ll forgive me. Please forgive me too. But please pray for me that my dreams and desire to be of service and excel in God’s publishing ministry shall not be cut off; that they will be granted and be courageous to follow them through. Thanks. Michael.”

However, before sending an apology to all Andrew’s friends, I found in my mail inbox Sophie’s reply waiting for me. I had to stop, think, learn and correct again. I got a temptation that it might not be wise to send apologies to all when some people were indeed interested in being friendly. So I had to delete out e-mail addresses of some recipients who had responded to my first mail just as Sophie had done. And at the back of my mind I had a fear that it might have been Sophie who called Andrew to inquire who I am. This is because I had heard Andrew mention something like Stanbic Bank, a name that appeared in Sophie’s e-mail address. And he sounded like he was talking about a very important and committed member of Kampala Pentecostal Church. But when I saw her mail in my inbox again, I took another heavy sigh of relief, removed her name from the apology list, sent apologies to others, and embarked on reading her mail that said:

“Hi Michael (without a second name),

“I have no problem at all with being your sister though I already believe I am your sister in the Lord and I rarely get scared of people unless they give me reason to do so and since you’re Born-again and a Cell Leader I don’t think I need to be scared.

“Well, I hope you had a good cross over to 2008 and your family is fine as well as the Cell members. I have had a challenging one but only seen more of God's hand in my life. 

“I am not sure why you locked yourself up and slept on Christmas! But I had a great one with my Family Members upcountry. I really hope you can get out and interact with people on every big day at least friends. Well, that is how I like it i.e. being with people (I appreciate the fact that we could have different interests so don’t get upset). I hope there was no problem, if there was then I am sorry about it.  

“Anyway I have to leave work now; it’s been good to hear from you and I hope you have a wonderful and fruitful 2008. God Bless. Sophie.”

Her reply was so delicate that I wondered whether my fears of a controversy that might have broken up between her and Andrew really happened. Still at the back of my mind I had all sorts of imaginations about this wonderful woman. I imagined she was a banker probably a CPA or someone who is happily married to a dude with bouncing children jumping up and down like a tennis ball in their magnificent mansion at the seaside. Or probably she’s a young lady preferably of my age group who had hit the jackpot and climbed up the corporate ladder soon after her university. Perhaps she was a committed Christian who had taken a vow of poverty for the service in God’s house all her lifetime. But I remained calm and contented since she’d already given me an inch. So it was a turn for me to play my cards right and take miles deeper into her life and dig out the treasures she’d hidden in the secret places. My reply was immediately designed and sent saying:

“Hi Sophie, I am so grateful that you wrote back. Thank you so much; it is really rare these days in an increasingly busy world for a person to spare time and communicate back especially by e-mail. You’re a very good person and may God bless the works of your hands.

This is Michael (I am guilty of not disclosing my second name. I suppose I am stereotyped to assume that some people are tribe sensitive. But my second name is so controversial that one can hardly tell which tribe I am. Some say I am a Muganda due to my fluency in Luganda. Others claim that I am a Musoga due to the name. But the majority believe I am a Mumasaba/Mugisu due to circumcision. Now I understand why even Jesus asked his disciples that ‘But who do you say I am?”). Any way, my second name is Mugoya. And to be honest I prefer being addressed by it.

But I am really wondering whether you’re still interested in being a sister to a person who originates from the remotest slopes of Mt. Elgon in Mbale, the land of the rising sun! However, thanks to God that He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes, with the princes of their people! Glory to God that you’re not scared of being my sister.

I am so grateful to the heavenly Father that I crossed to 2008. In 2007 I spent 3 days in a coma after getting involved in a terrible accident that took the lives of over 6 people in a car crash in Kiboga. Up to now, I can’t believe that I have found my feet, alive and kicking! The only problem with me is I don’t know how to celebrate.

In Cell we enjoyed the close of 2007 in Super Cell Sunday and ate like horses the delicious meals our Host Julian prepared for us. We had earlier planned to celebrate with our adopted HIV/AIDS patient, but unfortunately she missed it. She was allegedly caught red-handed in a sex scandal with a 16-year old young boy and fled from the village! We are still uncertain of her whereabouts. But her children I heard had been taken to their uncle somewhere in Kampala town. It was really sad.

As you said, in fact I indeed need to change some of my attitudes and begin celebrating with my family and friends on big days. I think I should learn to refuse allowing some circumstances of life dictate my happiness and count it all joy even when I go through diverse tests. Sophie, I have to think twice.

Let me end here for today, but I am very sorry for the challenges you went through. However, don’t ever give up on praying, studying and doing the Word of God. The Word of God to you will always work for you. Therefore no matter the pressures or challenges that you face, refuse to give up. No matter what situation stretches you to give up, God wants you to know that His indwelling presence remains in you. He’s working on your behalf. As long as God is in control of your life, you’ll move upward and forward. Sophie, did anything wrong happen your way? Kind regards. Michael.